The Sun Is Often Out
by nodistancelefttorun
Summary: Kurt has finally had enough and is just about to end everything when someone stops him. Can a cute stranger and a cup of coffee change everything? Possible triggers, but no character death
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I _really_ should be writing my other fics, I know, but I have all these ideas in my head and I just have to get them out. This is one of them.**

**This is a piece that I've been writing as a kind of self-therapy thingy whenever I've been feeling sad.**

**It's almost physically impossible for me to write anything less than 1,000 words because even when I have a simple oneshot idea (like this was originally) I just keep adding pointless details and background thingys to it and suddenly it's a 9,000 word long fic without much point.**

**As I said, I really shouldn't be posting new fics when I still have two unfinished ones to write, but I've almost finished chapters 1-3 on this one, so that just leaves the epilogue that needs to be written. I'll just post the first part now and then I can write my other things and post more chapters for this as soon as I've edited them a little.**

**Confusing A/N is confusing. Sorry.**

**The fic title, lyrics in the chapters and the over-all inspiration for this piece is the song The Sun Is Often Out, by Patrick Wolf. It's totally awesome.**

**Warnings: contains suicidal thoughts/plans and I guess it's a little angsty and could trigger, but it's not _that_ angsty. I think.**

**Disclaimer: I always forget to add these, but no I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Obviously.**

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**Chapter 1**

Kurt had honestly just had enough. For years he had put up with it all and stood his ground no matter how much hate he got. He had stuck to himself and not changed for anyone. He had gone through all of his first school years with only one friend, who later turned out to be the biggest jerk on the planet. He had been bullied and teased ever since he could remember. As soon as people discovered that he wasn't only gay looking, but also had a gay, high-pitched voice, they never stopped teasing him about it.

No one knew if he actually _was_ gay - which, for the record, he was - but they were offended enough that he was bold enough to dismiss all the traditionally boyish characteristics. He didn't play football with the other kids in school, he didn't fight with the others over who was coolest or strongest, and he didn't participate in the other kids' 'games', mostly summed up by them picking the weakest kid in school and then taunting him or her until the teachers were forced to get involved due to parental complaints.

Kurt was usually their favorite subject to use in these popular games, mostly because they knew he wouldn't go running to his dad for help. Sometimes they switched it up and picked another kid for their amusement, but then they eventually went back to Kurt. In the end, it was always Kurt.

In time, Kurt grew to learn how to avoid the sadistic kids in school. He had a bunch of secret hideouts spread out across the school. There he would spend his lunch breaks and free periods, perched below a huge tree on the outskirts of the school or crammed into a not-so-well-known cupboard outside classroom A7, a book on his lap or, more commonly, a sketchbook in which he would plot future outfits. He didn't own that many designer garments yet, although his dad had treated him to some due to his obvious passion, and he mostly drew things he picked up in his numerous fashion magazines that he hoped to some day own.

His passion for clothing and singing showtunes did nothing to improve his image, and he was clever enough to keep his sketchbook, full of both cut-outs from fashion magazines and self-designed garments he wished he had the fabrics to make, well hidden from the other students. In his bag he had sewn in a secret pocket in which he usually put his most precious things - the sketchbook, his favorite pencils and his iPod. Even if the other kids got hold of his bag and turned it upside down over a puddle of dirty water, the pocket's contents would be safe and sound.

Kids could be so very mean, no one knew that better than him. As he got older, the mean words and seemingly harmless games turned into the more than occasional shove in the school hallways. At first the teachers stood up for him somewhat by telling the other kids to 'play nicely', but as the years went by and the abuse just got worse, the teachers turned a blind eye to the whole matter.

There was no one left to stand up for him, and he quickly learned that the only one he could trust in this world was himself. He never told his dad about the teasing, because when his mom died his dad tried _so_ _hard_ to make things okay again and make Kurt happy, and the little boy didn't have the heart to tell him his only son was being both verbally and physically abused on a daily basis. So he let his dad remain in a blissful state of ignorance and handled it all himself. At a very young age he learned how to take care of himself, and his father, and every day was a struggle to keep his head above the water.

In his freshman year at McKinley High, he had plucked up the courage to join the schools glee club. He had been singing since he could remember, and had an extraordinary voice. Sadly, he had been so teased for it, he had a hard time adapting to the thought of it being one of his greatest strengths.

At first the club only had five members; Rachel Berry, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mercedes Jones, Artie Abrams and himself. He had almost instantly befriended Mercedes, who up til this day was his closest friend. He didn't care that much for Rachel because she was bossy, too loud and way too aware of her talent. The others he got along with fine, and as time went by, the club grew in size and they all became impossibly close to one another. They didn't stand up for him all that much, but they still kept him from sinking below the surface; they helped him breathe.

Glee club was his safe haven and people there loved him for who he was and he could be himself.

But recently that had all changed. It was as if he had become invisible to everyone but the Neanderthales bullying him into insanity. No one even flinched as the jocks shoved him into the row of lockers so hard he bruised all over; no one turned their heads when they screamed 'Fag!' after him from across the cafeteria; no one noticed how his shoulders sank lower with each day, or how he rarely met anyones eye anymore, and when he did they completely lacked the life that used to dance around amongst those green blue colors. No one took any notice of how his laugh was always too forced and too high even to be him.

No one saw him anymore. The phone calls from his friends grew fewer and on every Monday morning he would hear wicked stories about the past weekends parties; parties to which he hadn't been invited.

"Oh god, Kurt, I didn't think you wanted to go! We just drank lots of alcohol and that's not really your thing, is it, so I just didn't think to ask you. Sorry man."

He was sick of the excuses. He knew that they just didn't want him around. Why even bother making up some dumb excuse as to why they never invited him along?

Come to think of it, nowadays they didn't even put in that little effort. They just awkwardly walked away, or changed the topic, or even ignored the hurt look on his face as they shared party war stories, leaving him out of the conversation like a soaked-through dog locked out in the rain.

He was all done with that now. He was done with the slushie facials, the teasing, the ignorance, the insults and, most of all, his basically non-existent friends.

The idea had been on his mind for years, but he had never actually gone through with it. This was different though.

This time it was happening.

At midnight one Friday night he stuffed his iPod and his phone into his pocket and went downstairs, telling his dad that he was going over to Mercedes for a spontaneous sleepover.

They had those sometimes – although it hadn't happened much lately – so it wasn't surprising that the only reaction he got from both his dad and Carole was a nod. Though that might just have something to do with the fact that they had both had a few glasses of wine at dinner earlier on in the evening, and were now slightly tipsy.

Finn didn't even acknowledge the statement; he was too busy clubbing a zombie to death at some video game he and Burt were playing. Burt, of course, was losing.

As Kurt toed into his shoes and closed the front door after him, he heard Finn's triumphant yell behind him. He had probably succeeded in killing that zombie at last.

Oh how Kurt would miss being kept up all night because Finn was downstairs playing video games, yelling his head off either in anger or triumph.

His heart clenched as he realized it was the last time he would see either of them. He had left them all letters, of course, but it was still a horrible way to say goodbye, especially since they hadn't even looked at him before he left.

With one hand still on the handle, he paused for a moment, his eyes closed as he went through the plan again, searching for a doubt he could cling to that would spare him and let him hold on for one more day.

But there was nothing to be found and finally, he let go of the door handle and strode off into the night. He fished out the iPod and put the earphones in, scrolling through the library to find a good song.

What was the last song he ever wanted to hear? What would be the soundtrack to his death?

Biting his lip, he put on The Sun Is Often Out by Patrick Wolf, and put it on repeat. He had gone four blocks or so by then, and only just now realized how cold it was outside. He hadn't thought to bring a jacket because, well, he wouldn't need a jacket in heaven. Or hell. Or wherever he was going.

A wicked, detached sort of smile settled in the corner of his mouth as years of taunts came flooding back to him.

Right, how silly of him to forget. He would be going to hell and burn in its flames because of his disgusting way of life.

The first time someone told him the "homosexual lifestyle" would earn him a place in hell, he had been eight years old. It was about a month before his mother died and it was the mother of one of the kids in school who gave him a scolding, telling him to "make the right life choices and not end up like those sinners God had long since forgotten", and then she had grabbed her kid and stormed off.

He still couldn't believe how a grown-up, adult human being could go up to an eight-year-old boy innocently playing with another boy and tell him he would go to hell.

_Oh, well. Hell must be better than life, anyway,_ he thought.

A kind of weird calm settled in him as he strolled along the streets, Patrick Wolf's voice sending shivers through him that weren't all because of the unbelievable cold.

_Streetlight walks the waters_

_Rising fast and dark and deep_

The uneven pounding of his heart vibrating in his ears almost drowned out the music. It was like he saw the world for the first time. Everything was so beautiful in the midnight darkness. The streets were almost deserted, except for a few people passing him with their dogs. In the distance he could hear howling laughter, probably from some party nearby. Maybe his friends were there. Most likely. And he, of course, had not been asked.

_Well, is your work of art so heavy that it will not let you live?_

_You'll be missed_

He turned a corner and sucked in a breath as he spotted his goal; a high bridge going over a great river. It was perfectly high enough to jump from. It too was close to empty, with just a car or two going past now and then.

_Soon there'll be flowers in the river_

_Tears being shed_

_You'll be missed_

He went over to the edge and put his elbows on the rail, leaning his chin in his palms as he gazed out over the view. It was truly beautiful. The pearly white moon glittered brightly above him, surrounded by a jet-black sky dotted with stars. The river reflected them in a way that could only be described as magical. It looked like it belonged in a fairy tale, or a love story.

Only that this story wouldn't end with happy sighs as the star-crossed lovers finally kissed, no; this story would end with a boy on the bottom of the river, his body broken beyond recognition.

_So life has blessed you with a gift, boy_

_That you've gone and thrown away_

_And with it your whole future_

_And left behind your family_

A stab of pain in his chest followed those lines. His family, his friends. He was so tired of living, yet the thought of never seeing his loved ones again made tears trickle down his cheeks. But then his top bully's face – David Karofsky – appeared in his mind and his resolution grew strong again.

He couldn't go back to that. Death must be far better than being terrified all the time.

_They're throwing flowers in the river_

_Where your body cold was found_

_And you are missed_

_You are missed_

He straightened up, put his hands on the rail and looked around to make sure no one was around to see – and stop – him. Once the coast was clear, he tightened his grip of the rail and closed his eyes, letting the lyrics to his death song wash over him, drinking in every word as though they were water. Speaking of water–

He opened his eyes to peer over the edge, the glittering water looking far too welcoming.

Yes. He was ready for this.

Adrenaline was rushing through him, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Just as he was about to climb onto the rail and take that last step to freedom and bliss, an unfamiliar voice broke through the music and reached his ears.

He spun around, probably looking as crazy as a rabid squirrel.

The person disturbing his goodbye to the world was a boy slightly shorter than Kurt himself, with a red scarf with thin blue stripes wrapped around his neck and a long black coat that seemed to be made out of wool. Hadn't he been so stunned by this new person's sudden intrusion into his life, he might have found it amusing that even though he was seconds away from taking his life, his first instinct was to check out the guy's clothing. It was like second nature to him, after all.

He approved of it and, his eyes slowly making their way upwards, the next thing he knew, he was looking into the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen. Because of the poor lighting provided only by the moon and one flickering lamp-post nearby, he couldn't tell what colours they were, but they seemed dark yet warm and comforting.

Once he got over the initial shock at how _vibrant _those eyes were, he got another shock as the face connected to the eyes was just as gorgeous.

He had dark brown hair, neatly styled with some kind of gel that didn't suffocate the hair but left some curls half-loose though they remained fairly tamed. If it was one thing that Kurt was weak for, it was curly hair.

The boy made a gesture towards his ears, making a pulling gesture, looking intently at Kurt as if he was trying to convey something.

First he had no idea what he was doing, but then he caught on – he still had his earphones in.

He pulled them out and shakily twisted them around his iPod, shoving them into his pocket.

"Hi, sorry if I'm bothering you-"

"Oh, no, not at all", Kurt breathed out, still transfixed with the boy's face.

His voice was magic, too.

The boy smiled, and leaned against the rail right next to Kurt, gazing out over the river. He looked over at Kurt, who was still staring. Cocking his head a little, he said, "Do you mind if I stay?"

Kurt glanced hesitantly at the water flowing under them. He should just chase this strange boy away and get on with his plan. But his body wouldn't obey his mind and he found himself shaking his head.

The other boy put his hand forward, saying, "I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson."

Kurt took it hesitantly. "Kurt Hummel."

"That's a really pretty name", Blaine remarked, returning his eyes to the river before them.

Kurt wasn't sure what to say. A regular day he might have been flattered that a complete stranger wanted to talk to him – and an attractive stranger at that – but tonight is was just awkward, because of obvious reasons.

"It's really beautiful, isn't it?"

"S-sorry, what?"

Blaine turned his head again and smiled. It was the kind of smile that could turn a heartless serial killer into a purring kitten vomiting rainbows.

"The moonlight. It's beautiful", he repeated.

Kurt nodded. "Oh, yeah, totally."

They were silent for a while, Kurt glancing at Blaine and wondering to himself just why this gorgeous boy had come up to him like this, telling him he had a pretty name and just _standing_ there.

"So... what brings you here this late? If you don't mind me asking", Blaine broke the silence before Kurt could.

Kurt hesitated slightly, biting hard into his lip as he desperately tried to come up with an answer that wouldn't show just how messed up he was.

"Just needed some fresh air", he said. The credibility disappeared as his voice was shaking.

But Blaine just nodded. "Yeah, me too."

He glanced over at Kurt, his eyelids fluttering shut for a few moments before they reopened and Kurt suddenly felt as though he was on fire. He was fairly certain Blaine was some unearthly creature sent to earth.

Or maybe he had actually jumped, and this was the angel God had sent to take him to heaven. Wow, that was certainly a slap in the face to the homophobes that had always told him he'd go to hell because of his inclination to liking boys. God hadn't only sent him an angel, but he had sent him the most gorgeous one out of them all, for sure.

It was almost enough to make him believe in God after all.

Suddenly he was pulled out of his thoughts by Blaine heaving a great sigh. Once again their eyes locked together. "Actually, I've had kind of a bad day."

"I've had more of a bad life myself", Kurt said before he could stop himself.

"How come?"

Kurt eyed him suspiciously. "You genuinely want to hear about my useless life?"

"I doubt it's useless, but I'd love to listen if you want to talk. I've been told I'm a great listener."

"And how do I know you're not secretly a weird perverted 60-year-old man trying to rape me?", Kurt blurted out.

_What the hell Hummel? _he scolded himself.

Blaine gave a loud laugh that rang over the empty bridge. "You're right, that could be a risk. Last time I checked, I wasn't a 60-year-old rapist but who am I to tell?"

Kurt smiled. It was the first genuine smile anyone had brought out of him all week.

"Well, okay, how about this; I tell you five personal facts about myself that you can use to blackmail me with in case it turns out I'm a big weirdo."

Kurt's mouth fell open slightly. "You're not serious are you?"

"No, I was actually just kidding. I'm Severus."

"Did you- did you just make a Harry Potter joke?"

"Yeah. That's the kind of guy I am, sorry." Blaine rubbed the back of his neck, grinning foolishly.

Kurt folded his arms across his chest, both for emphasiz but mostly to keep the little body warmth he had left. "Very well then. Five personal facts."

Blaine pulled a mock thoughtful face, stroking his pretend beard. Folding a finger down with each fact, he said, "Okay, so... I am a sixteen year old boy and, as far as I know, not a perverted rapist. I go to Dalton Acadamy, an all-boys school in Westerville. My dad and I don't get along very well, and I'm pretty sure he'll kick me out of the house any day now. Hm, what else..."

Kurt was _really _staring now. Was it really that common for people to go up to complete strangers, ask to hear their life story and then plow into their own? Kurt didn't have much experience with being approached by people at all since people mostly just avoided him.

"-ah! I love colorful bowties. And I'm a sucker for Disney movies and anything Harry Potter related." Blaine smiled widely, showing off some of his teeth.

Kurt tried his best not to gawk, but it was not easy.

"There, now you have five personal facts about me", Blaine said, smiling.

"I guess I do."

"So, how about you let me buy you a cup of coffee and you can tell me all about this supposedly useless life of yours."

Kurt almost choked on, well, air.

"Oh, I don't know. I have- I have stuff to deal with", he mumbled, not looking into those hypnotizing eyes.

This, however, seemed to only increase Blaine's determination. "How about I throw a cookie into the offer? You can't say no to free cookies and coffee."

Kurt eyed him for a few seconds. Oh, what the hell. He could jump off a bridge any day, and he wasn't one to turn down free food anyway. Besides, judging by the look in Blaine's eyes, he wasn't going to get rid of him too easily.

And what if he jumped, and Blaine managed to catch him, or called for help in time. That would just be thoroughly humiliating and he wouldn't have another shot for a long time. Maybe he'd get locked up in some hospital for crazy suicidal teens.

Coffee and cookies sounded like a better deal, at least for now.

"Okay, sure. Let's get coffee", he said.

Blaine first broke into a grin, but it quickly faded into a concerned grimace as he took note of the way Kurt's nose and cheeks were tinted red and his body was tensed up to stop it from shaking too obviously. "You're shivering. Are you cold?"

As always when trying to hide something, the symptoms only got worse as if his body deliberately tried to mess with him. He cursed himself for not bringing a jacket as his teeth were clattering in a very obvious way as he said, "No, it's fine."

But Blaine promptly unbuttoned his coat, shrugged it off his shoulders and went behind Kurt to wrap it around him, all but forcing his arms into the sleeves and then buttoning it again over his chest. Looking satisfied, he said, "There, all better."

He let his hand linger on Kurt's chest for a few seconds before letting it fall and shoving both hands into the pockets of the hoodie he had been wearing underneath. He zipped it up to keep as much warmth as possible inside, but Kurt swore he glimpsed a pink bowtie underneath before the zipper came up.

"But now you'll get cold", Kurt said, sounding like five-year-old.

"Nah, I'm fine", Blaine said, indicating his hoodie that at least seemed to hold more warmth than Kurt's outfit.

Kurt's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Who are you really? Are you an angel sent to earth to spread love and warmth or something?"

Blaine laughed softly. "I don't know about the angel part, but I do like a good old love-and-warmth spreading. How come you're out without a jacket anyway?"

"I forgot it, I guess. I was... distracted." He blushed profoundly. The whole thing was just so embarrassing. "But really, how come you just walk up to a stranger and give him your coat? People don't do that."

Blaine just shrugged. "You looked lonely, and I thought, 'why the hell not?'. You seemed nice, and I was proven correct."

Seeing that Kurt was still shivering, Blaine grabbed his arm and tugged him along across the bridge, pulling him close so their hips were pressed together.

He smiled reassuringly at Kurt's nervous sideway glances. With a flirtatious wink that made just about every bone in Kurt's body melt, he said, "I know a great coffee place nearby."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The warmth washing over him as they entered the small coffee shop could only be described as heavenly. Blaine's coat was warm despite the cold outside – and Kurt couldn't help but shiver at the thought that it was indirectly Blaine's warm body that had heated him up – and the added warmth of the shop made him sigh in relief.

"I'll go order and you get a table, okay?", Blaine said, waiting for Kurt's nod of approval before going up to the counter.

Kurt slipped away to the other side of the shop, finding a vacant table in a corner. He always preferred sitting as far away from everyone else as possibly. He was still within sight from the counter so Blaine wouldn't have a problem finding him.

He sat down and pulled the coat closer around him. He felt bad for exploiting a complete stranger like this, but Blaine hadn't really given him an option. He appeared to be one of those guys who didn't back down until he got what he wanted.

But as soon as Kurt was left alone, his angst started to catch up with him and the warmth that had come into his heart along with Blaine was quickly slipping away, leaving the cold hard suicidal thoughts. He should be dead now. Why wasn't he dead? Nothing would get better, and he would be naive to think so. For years he had fooled himself thinking some day a knight in shining armour would come save him from the hard, cruel world, but recently he had been forced to abandon those dreams.

No one would come to his rescue.

No one would save him.

And thinking that the world would adapt and stop referring to him and his sexual preferences as sinful was just plain stupid. Nothing would ever get better, and he should realize that. He _had_ realized that. But then Blaine had come along, with his shiny smile and his thoughtful hands, guiding him off the bridge where he had planned to end his life, and everything he thought he knew had been turned upside down. It was _stupid, _and he should know better.

Meeting a nice stranger wouldn't change the fact that when he went back to school, the taunting and bullying would just continue and he would be alone again.  
Why had he allowed Blaine to take him away from that bridge? It had been weak. He should have chased him away and gone through with his plan. With a pang of burning longing he could almost _feel_ the metallic rail as he was about to climb up on it and take that final step to freedom; to numbness; to _peace_.

The doubts were eating him up from inside and he was sure it was written all over his face; the panic, the fear, the hot longing to just _run_. But just as he was about to slip off the coat and sneak away, Blaine emerged with two smoking cups of coffee, a bright smile on his face.

"Here you go. I wasn't really sure what you wanted so I-"

"A grande non-fat mocha", Kurt replied, staring at the coffee being handed to him.

"-yeah. Hope it's okay."

"I- how-"

Blaine cocked his head a little, his eyebrows knitting together into a slight frown.

Kurt ducked his head.

"It's my favorite", he said softly.

Blaine smiled. "Yay, go me." He did complimentary hand movements, quickly eliciting a chuckle out of Kurt.

"You are such a dork", Kurt said, smile still present on his face.

"Guilty as charged." Blaine winked, and Kurt found himself hypnotized by his eyes once more.

In the light of the coffee shop, they were brighter and for the first time he could at least attempt to decipher its colours. There was hazel and green and flecks of gold, all swirling around those pitch-black pupils and _oh no I'm staring, oh Gaga, why am I so embarrassing._

Before he could embarrass himself further by blushing, he grabbed his coffee cup and brought it up to his lips to take a sip. In his rush he forgot to be cautious, and the hot drink quickly scolded his tongue.

He spluttered and, unware of how dumb it looked, stuck out his tongue for the air to cool it off. Like that would help.

Blaine was more quick-witted, though, and within seconds he had grabbed a paper cup and poured him some water from the counter next to their table holding sugars, milk and a water tap.

Kurt swallowed the whole content, gasping after he had done so. His tongue still hurt and he just sat there gasping for a good five minutes.

When he finally came to his senses, he poured himself more water as an excuse to disappear behind the cup for another few seconds.

Blaine kept watching him, those unfairly gorgeous eyes of his _shining_, and it made Kurt's insides squirm uncomfortably. He had this far-away look in his eyes, as though he was looking at Kurt yet not looking _at _him but rather somewhere in the distance... or _into_ him.

The thought was too terrifying to cope with and, as always when under pressure, he turned to sarcasm.

He gave a shrill laugh, not realizing how high it was until it was out there. "Well, that was embarrassing."

This seemed to snap Blaine out of his trance and he jumped a little before picking up his coffee and sipping from it.

"That happens to me all the time", he assured Kurt, smiling faintly.

They sat in silence for a while, both boys quietly sipping their coffee. Kurt had his fingers tightly wrapped around his cup, and even though the scolding hot coffee burned his sensitive skin, he didn't let go.

It was as if the fragile paper cup was his last ounce of sanity and he clung to it for all he was worth.

He kind of zoned out and the surroundings blurred together like a fog as the heat from the coffee burnt into him. He knew he was being rude, not looking at Blaine but at the cup he was clinging to, and he knew he should start up a conversation or come up with some interesting question, but he couldn't do it. It took all his energy not to just break down and cry.

What he did not know was that Blaine's coffee was now left untouched as his fingers were too busy twisting around each other, their owner gazing intently at the shivering blue-eyed boy in front of him.

Kurt moved his fingers only slightly and winced as an untouched patch of skin came in contact with the heat, but he still didn't pull away. Out of nowhere came a different set of hands and gently pried his fingers away. Kurt's head snapped up and he immediately locked eyes with Blaine. His hazel eyes were _glowing_.

Blaine gently put his still cold palm over Kurt's red and sore one. Kurt didn't dare move, and Blaine discreetly folded his fingers around Kurt's hand. Their eyes remained locked togther, as did their hands, and Kurt could swear his heart would jump out of his chest if they stayed like that for much longer. He had never held hands with a boy before and it felt like a thousand electric shocks going through him, from his toes to the roots of his hair.

The ache in his hand slowly faded away and he began to relax. It was worrying how this complete stranger could comfort him so easily without even using words. The words scared him to death, and he pulled his hand away and folded them in his lap.

Was that fear flashing through Blaine's eyes? Or pain?

Either way, Kurt ignored it.

"I don't even know you", he whispered.

Blaine seemed disappointed at the loss, but pulled a smile either way.

"You have my five personal facts."

"That doesn't mean I know you", Kurt shot back.

He folded his arms across his chest, a pathetic attempt to put distance between them.

"Okay. What would you like to know?", Blaine asked, his voice measured but not cold.

Kurt bit down on his bottom lip, soft at first but then harder as his heartbeat sped up.

What did he want to know?

Everything.

He wanted to know Blaine's dreams, personality quirks, likes and dislikes. He wanted to learn how to make him feel better when he was sad, what his triggers were and what his life story was.

_No,_ his mind told him. _You don't need him. He will just distract you. Remember what is important._

He didn't even have time to consider it. His body moved on its own accord and suddenly he was standing, almost having knocked over his coffee in the process.

"I need to go", he got out just before he spun on his heel and turned to run. His coffee sat forgotten on the table.

But before he could get to the door and disappear into the night, Blaine had closed his fingers around his wrist and pulled him back inside.

A dull ache went through him as Blaine's hold put pressure on his quite recent scars. Blaine must have sensed it, or seen Kurt flinch, because he released his wrist but recaptured his hand.

"Kurt, please, don't go."

He sounded so small and scared, Kurt didn't have the heart to pull away. Blaine's calm, composed outer wall had fallen and left were those eyes, so filled with worry and fear that it made Kurt's heart ache. He still hesitated for a few seconds, standing in the door and staring straight into Blaine's eyes. Then he relaxed his shoulders and slipped back inside. He gave Blaine's hand a light squeeze. "Okay."

"You'll stay?"

"Yeah."

He didn't dare say anything else because he felt his throat choke up and he was afraid he'd break if he tried to speak any more. Instead he bit his tongue so hard blood flowed, but he didn't care. It felt good, anyway, and he was more than used to a little pain.

He couldn't remember the last time someone had begged him to stay.

But why did Blaine look so scared? He didn't sit back down until Kurt had done so, as if afraid Kurt would run off even though he had promised not to.

"Why do you want me to stay?", Kurt asked quietly once they were both seated. He refused to look Blaine in the eye, because he knew he'd crumble before him. He had reluctantly let go of Blaine's comforting, firm hand and now clutched his own in his lap.

Blaine swallowed audibly and stared out the window at the dark street outside.

"I don't know. Maybe because I feel like you are a lot to lose."

Kurt's blood ran cold. A lot to lose? Did he know what Kurth had been planning only seconds before they met?

"W-what?", he stuttered.

Blaine had regained most of his usual calm now, which was both annoying and a relief, because Kurt himself was so panicked.

"I just feel like you are very special and so unlike everyone else I've met. It would totally suck if you just left and we'd never see each other again", Blaine clarified.

Kurt let out the breath he had been holding and felt some of the tension leave his body, if only temporarily.

He attempted a smile, but it came out weak and unconvincing.

"It's my voice, right?", he said, not sure where the edge in his voice came from. "Most people are confused when they hear me speak and realize I'm not a ten-year-old girl."

Blaine just shook his head. "No, not necessarily. Although I do admit you have a lovely voice."

Kurt involunterily clenched his jaw. Lovely. He hated that word. It was so girly and he was sick of being mistaken for a girl. "_Lovely_." He almost spat out the word, making Blaine flinch. "Why do people always describe me like I'm a needy princess trapped somewhere waiting for a prince to rescue me?"

"I didn't-"

"I don't _need_ a prince. I can save myself."

They both stared at each other for a while. Kurt wondered whether Blaine connected his words to the bridge, too, or if he just wondered how to respond as to not upset Kurt further.

"I don't think you're a princess", Blaine said, very softly, after several moments of silence. He seemed to consider Kurt for a few moments before adding, "Maybe a prince, or a mythological creature. Like a nymph. But not a princess."

Kurt was left speechless, his mouth slightly opened as he gawked at Blaine, waiting for him to blush or at least look a little flushed at having compared a guy he just met with a prince, but it never came. Blaine just lowered his gaze and fiddled lazily with his cup while he waited for Kurt to reply.

"I- thank you."

It was all he could do not to turn around and run, which was his usual responce to a compliment.

Blaine smiled and picked up his coffee again. After taking a sip, he quickly put it down again with a grimace. "It's cold."

Kurt grabbed his own cup only to find his had cooled off, too. They must have sat there for longer than they had realized. His phone suddenly rang, as if to prove a point, and he shakily coaxed it out of his pocket. The caller ID told him it was Carole, and it felt like the air went out of him.

Carole. How close he had been to leave her, and all the others, forever. He felt sick just thinking about how horrible they would have felt. He took a deep breath and tried to force himself to remain calm for five minutes, just enough to get through this phonecall and convince Carole he was fine and not inches away from death.

"Hello, Carole."

"_Kurt, honey, where are you?_"

"I'm at Mercedes' house. I told you, we decided to throw a little spontaneous sleepover."

"_I called her home number and her parents said you weren't there._"

"I- I-"

"_Kurt, what is going on? Where are you?"_

"_Carole, I-"_

Oh, damn. Blaine must have seen the colour drain from his face, because all of the sudden he had taken his phone from his hands and put it to his own ear. Kurt paled even more. What the hell was Blaine doing? Nothing he could say could make the situation better. Being out and about in the middle of the night with a boy his parents had never met, and then lying about it?

Burt would surely kill him when he got home. Or at least ground him for eternity.

"Hello, mrs Hummel, my name is Blaine Anderson", he said with such dapper politeness, Kurt would have laughed had he not been so nervous. He sounded so grown up and serious.

Carole's voice was loud enough for Kurt to hear it even though the phone was pressed against Blaine's ear on the other side of the table.

"_It's Hummel-Hudson, but alright. Who are you?"_

"I'm a friend of Kurt's. I think he has been sleepwalking."

Kurt definitely stared, then. Sleepwalking? It was brilliant.

Blaine continued, "I saw him walking around in circles and I thought he looked a little weird, so I went to check if he was okay and then I realized he wasn't awake."

"_Oh my god, is he okay?"_

"Yes, yes, he's fine. A little embarrassed, but just fine. He woke up a while ago but he looked so shaken I made him have some coffee. I was just about to walk him home."

"_How can I ever thank you? I don't even want to think about what could have happened if you hadn't found him."_

So far Blaine had been circling the lid of his coffee between his fingers, but at those words he looked up and straight into Kurt's eyes. In that moment, Kurt was almost certain Blaine knew what would have happened had he not been there. Too ashamed to admit it to himself even, he looked away and instead focused his gaze on a street lamp outside the little shop.

"Oh, no, it was no trouble. He's a real charmer", he heard Blaine say, still as polite and entrancing as always. Kurt caught himself thinking how he'd be any mother's dream for a step son.

There were some murmurs on the other side of the line as Carole undoubtedly retold the story to Finn and Burt.

Both Blaine and Kurt kept silent as the others talked away, only catching a few phrases like "could have died" and "damn sure he's not going out alone any more".

Kurt's heart sank. He had been afraid they'd grow overprotective if they knew about his... _issues_, but if they thought he sleepwalked, they would be keeping an extra eye on him, too, and eliminate all possible escape plans he might plan to, so to speak, 'carry out the deed' Blaine had interrupted.

Suddenly Carole's voice was replaced with a much firmer one. Kurt immediately recognized his father's voice, and immediately edged closer to hear his every word.

What would he make of all this?

"_What's your name, kid?"_

"Blaine, sir. Blaine Anderson." Blaine looked a little nervous but his voice didn't waver as he answered.

"_Okay, good. Now, where is my boy? I'll come pick him up."_

Kurt's eyes widened and, with no words being spoken, Blaine read him just right.

"If it's alright with you, sir, I'll follow him home myself. I wouldn't feel right just leaving him without making sure he gets home safely."

There was a pause where only Burt's breathing through the phone could be heard.  
_  
"Can I speak to him?"_

Blaine shot Kurt a look, and Kurt gave a barely noticable nod. Blaine did see it, however, and said a quick "okay, here he is" before handing back the phone to Kurt.

"Hi, dad."

"_You okay, kiddo? You sure you don't want me to pick you up?"_

Kurt glanced at Blaine, who was scratching his nails against the back of his neck. It was probably a nervous habit of his.

"I'm fine, dad. I'm just tired, but I don't mind walking home. It's not that far."

"_And this Blaine kid, he's alright? No weird 60-year-old pervert?"_

Kurt couldn't help but laugh. Like father, like son. "He is sixteen and really, really nice. I promise I'll be fine."

"_And he isn't threatening you or nothing? Say 'pineapple' if he is."_

"Dad. I'm fine. There's no need for pineapples."

"So he _is _threatening you? That's it, I'm-"

"No. Dad, really, it's fine. He is perfectly okay."

"_Alright then. We'll wait up for you, and if you're not home within the hour I'm finding you on my own."_

"Okay. Bye, dad, love you."

The line went dead and Kurt pocketed his phone again. Blaine was watching him intently, and Kurt felt his cheeks burn under his gaze.

"Thank you for covering for me", he said after several moments of silence.

"Covering what? It's true. You were sleepwalking."

Kurt eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds. Was he playing with him, or did he actually believe-

Before he could finish that thought, Blaine broke into a smile. "It's no big deal. You'll repay me some day."

"Yeah?", Kurt asked, and he couldn't help but feel hopeful at the promise of seeing Blaine again.

Kurt's excitement obviously didn't translate to his face, because Blaine suddenly froze and his smile immediately fell. "I- uh, not if you don't want to."

"No, no, I want to", Kurt hurried to say, his hand reaching out on its own accord to take Blaine's hand, lazily spread out on the table.

He _shouldn't. _His inner voice kept screaming at him to _get out, get out, get out while you can_, but his heart was beating so hard it overpowered that thin voice and before he knew it he was typing his number into Blaine's phone. When he got his own phone back, he went into his contact list and immediately spotted the contact named "Blaine". His heart thudded a little harder, but he ignored it in favor of getting to his feet.

"Well, I should go."

Blaine got up too, which surprised Kurt.

"What? I told your dad I'm walking you home", Blaine said, and took both their cups and threw it in the trash.

"Well, yes, but you don't have to. I'll be fine."

Blaine shook his head. "Nope, you're not getting rid of me until you're home."

Kurt was clever enough to recognize a lost cause when he saw one, and agreed to be walked home even if it made him feel like an incompetent five-year-old.

Just as they stepped out into the cold again, Blaine stopped abrubtly and grabbed Kurt's arm to hold him back too.

"I promised you a cookie and I totally forgot!", he exclaimed, looking as though this was a complete disaster.

"It's fine, you paid for coffee and even that was a little over the top", Kurt tried to assure him.

But Blaine wouldn't listen. Instead he doubled back and disappeared back into the little shop.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I've extended this fic to four chapters and perhaps an epilogue. The fourth part is almost finished, so I should be able to upload it soon. x**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Kurt spent the next five minutes shivering by himself outside the shop. He considered leaving, but decided against it in the end. He wasn't sure why. This was the perfect opportunity to run off, delete the number named 'Blaine' in his phone and never see the guy again, but somehow he just couldn't see himself going through with that.

Blaine didn't deserve such treatment, not when he had been so sweet and generous for absolutely no reason. He was just a pure heart that tried to do some good, and Kurt was not about to ruin his night – and very well scar him for life – by running out on him and then killing himself. Blaine would blame himself forever, wondering if he could have done something to prevent it.

No. It was best to just wait and do it another day. He had waited this long, after all. Surely he could survive one more day.

And maybe there was a small part of him that wanted to see how the whole thing played out. Maybe dying didn't seem so appealing anymore, at least not right now.

A few minutes later Blaine returned with a chocolate chip cookie – with most probability it was the largest the shop offered – wrapped up in a napkin. He handed it to Kurt with a wide smile.

"Here!"

Kurt accepted it and couldn't help but smile at Blaine's goofy grin.

He unfolded the napkin a little and took a bite. He only barely resisted the groan that threatened to escape him. He hadn't realized just how hungry he was. "This is _delicious_."

Blaine smiled even wider. "I'm glad."

Then he looped his arm under Kurt's without as much as a warning, and Kurt realized that he didn't mind in the slightest. He knew it should be awkward and tense, but they just fit together so well and it felt so good, so he didn't say anything. Instead a content sigh left his lips and he continued nibbling peacefully on his cookie as they walked.

When a drunken old man passed them, Blaine held on to his arm a little tighter, and Kurt wondered if there was some kind of story there, or if he was just generally nervous. Kurt felt himself tense up, too – this was Ohio, after all, and two guys holding onto each other like this, no matter how innocently, couldn't possibly go by unnoticed. But it did, and the old man just staggered past them without as much as a offensive slur, and they were left alone.

Slowly they both relaxed again, although Blaine's hold on his arm remained firm and strong, but not in a way that hurt or felt uncomfortable. To be honest, the feeling of Blaine holding onto him like that was probably the best feeling in the world.

"You never told me about your supposedly useless life", Blaine said suddenly.

By then Kurt had finished off half of the cookie, and had to force himself to offer the rest to Blaine so his stomach wouldn't finish it off before he could give it away. But Blaine only took one small bite and then handed it back to Kurt, who reasoned that he had at leas tried to be polite, and finished it off in two generous bites.

When he had chewed through them both, he addressed the question. "Well, since it's kind of useless, I doubt you'd be interested in hearing about it."

"Try me."

Kurt cast him a sideways glance, but he was looking out on the water they were walking by and didn't meet Kurt's eye.

"Okay. What do you want to know?", he said finally.

Blaine turned to look at him then. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes. Or, technically not. Finn is my step brother, the son of Carole, whom my dad married a while ago."

"And your mom?"

This time it was Kurt who looked away. "She passed away when I was younger."

Blaine gave a soft, "oh", but was tactful not to press the topic further.

"So. Favorite colour?"

"Blue."

"Mhm, good choice. I personally prefer red. Or pink."

Kurt decided to be bold and reached over to pull down the zipper of Blaine's hoodie. And as he had initially suspected, he was indeed wearing a huge pink bowtie underneath.

"That thing should be a crime to wear", he stated as he zipped him up again. He could feel Blaine's eyes burning into him as he straightened up, their faces too close for comfort yet not nearly close enough for Kurt's liking, but he fought hard not to embarrass himself by blushing.

"Oh? I think it's cute. Should I throw it away, then?", Blaine asked. "I think it's safe to say your sense of fashion is stronger than mine."

Kurt shook his head, though he couldn't help but feel flattered by his trust. "No, don't. It suits you."

Blaine laughed quite loudly at that. "Should I take that as an insult to my appearance?"

Kurt turned back to him, eyes widened comically. "No! _No_, absolutely not! I just- well, anything would suit you. You're something of a prince yourself."

This time Blaine had the decency to blush. "Really? Which one?"

Kurt tried to think of different princes, but all he came up with were Disney princes. Despite knowing it made him sound about five years old, he said, "Prince Eric."

What he had not expected was Blaine replying with, "From the Little Mermaid?"

"Yeah."

"Wow! That's cool. He's hot."

"You- you- okay. What?"

Blaine frowned, as if enthusiastically understanding Disney references at the age of sixteen wasn't weird.

"What? I love me some Disney princes."

Of course. He had admitted to being a Disney enthusiast earlier, but all the recent events had kind of blurred that particular scrap of memory.

"You are really weird, do you know that?", Kurt asked, trying to frown only to give up and grin instead.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you don't love Disney? What is there not to love, anyway? There's music and drama and magic and happy endings and super cute princes-"

"Yes, of course I love Disney", Kurt interrupted him. Then, sideglancing the boy beside him, he added, a little hesitantly, "Don't you prefer the princesses, though?"

"I'd choose Prince Charming over any of the princesses any day", Blaine said. At first he smiled, but then it faded into a grimace. "My dad isn't too happy with that."

Kurt's heart leapt and sank at the same time. He liked boys, which Kurt was relieved to hear since he didn't know any boy but him who did, but he was being treated badly because of it, which Kurt could relate far too much to, and it hurt because he would do anything to stop Blaine from hurting.

"He doesn't support you?", he asked quietly.

Blaine shook his head. "He still thinks it's a phase and that I'll outgrow it."

Kurt squeezed his arm. "He'll come around. My dad did, and he's learnt to love me for who I am. I'm sure your dad will, too."

"I doubt it. He's given me a year to 'straighten out' and if I'm not cured by then, he'll kick me out or send me to a straight camp or something", Blaine said tonelessly.

Kurt stopped in his tracks, almost making Blaine fall over as he was yanked back, too. "No. You're not serious, are you? _Cured?_"

"Yep. He wants me to marry some nice girl and live on the country in our grand family mansion with white picket fences and, most importantly, he wants a bunch of grandkids."

"There is always adoption, and I remain hopeful that marriage equality will have spread to all the states by the time either of us has found that someone to marry."

There was this sudden spark in Blaine's suddenly saddened eyes, and Kurt felt his stomach doing weird flips. Maybe it was just because they were discussing marriage and kids, but very vivid pictures flashed by his eyes; pictures all involving Blaine and himself, at least ten years from now, in a shared New York apartment filled with instruments and wardrobes packed to the brim with gorgeous clothing; a bunch of kids perched on the livingroom couch, falling asleep in a pile with their limbs entangled with each other under the watching eye of Mulan, which was not only their parents favorite Disney classic, but also the name of their beloved cat.

Kurt had to shake his head to get rid of the inappropriate, although pleasant, thoughts, and get back to reality.

Blaine's mouth twisted into a wicked smile as he mimicked his dad, "But that is an abomination to nature and the sanctity of marriage is to be kept between man and woman."

Kurt's hopeful smiled dropped instantly. "I'm sorry. It must be horrible not to be able to be yourself in your own house."

Blaine just shrugged. "I'm barely home anymore, anyway. I board at Dalton all week and during holidays I'm usually hanging out with my friends."

"But still."

"Yeah. But I'm glad your family supports you at least", Blaine said, and to his credit he managed a smile even though it was clearly painful.

"Well, the acceptance took some time, but we're fine now. I'm not so lucky in school, though."

Blaine turned his head to look at him more closely. "No? What about school?"

Kurt shrugged, and looked down at his now moving feet. "There are some kids calling me names and shoving me around and stuff."

"Oh. I got that at my old school, too, but then- uh, something happened, and I had to transfer to Dalton. They have a zero-tolerance policy against bullying, so I'm safe there."

Kurt couldn't even imagine a reality where he would'nt have to be afraid of going to school.

"That sounds wonderful", he said softly. He had heard the unspoken story in Blaine's words, of course, but such an event that was traumatic enough for him to change schools was surely not something he would want to share with the boy he only just met. Even though they were, in Kurt's experience of meeting new people, over-sharing their life, Kurt had a feeling Blaine would draw a line at the school story.

Blaine registered the sadness in his voice, and stopped them both. He slid his arm out from under Kurt's, and instead put both his hands on Kurt's shoulders, squeezing them tightly.

"Don't ever let them tell you there's something wrong with you, alright?", he said quietly, rubbing small circles over the fabric of Kurt's jacket, although technically, it was Blaine's.

"I try", Kurt replied, just as quietly.

"And if they ever hurt you, just call me and I'll come help you. Doesn't matter what time of day. I'll be there", Blaine said, and Kurt could tell he truly meant it. They barely knew each other, but Blaine was still so sweet and amazing and he wanted to protect Kurt, and no one ever did that, no one ever stood up for him, and it was all just too much.

"Blaine-", Kurt choked off, and barely a second later he was tightly wrapped up in Blaine's strong, firm arms. He buried his face in the crook of Blaine's neck and the tears that had been building in his throat finally spilled over.

Blaine didn't say anything, he just held him tightly for several minutes while Kurt just cried. It was the kind of sobs that wrecked through his whole body, and Kurt usually didn't allow himself to cry that much. He usually let a few tears trickle down his cheeks, and then he'd wipe them away and carefully build up his protective walls again. But now he just couldn't help himself.

Blaine had knocked down his walls and sent them crumbling to the ground, and it was impossible to rebuild them. The bricks just lay there at his feet and his one anchor to sanity was blown away.

He felt so exposed, as if he was standing naked in front of the boy now whispering soothing words in his ear while drawing slow, calming patterns over his back with the tips of his fingers. But it was hard not to get lost in the new sense of safety that was the sensation of Blaine all around him. His smell, his touch, his warmth. It was all _so good _and Kurt didn't ever want to move.

Blaine felt so warm and safe wrapped around him, and no matter how embarrassing it was to cry like this in front of a guy he only met a few hours ago, he couldn't make it stop if his life depended on it. So he just cried it out, and Blaine held him through it.

After god knows how long, Kurt finally stilled in his arms, and when only the occasional sniff could be heard, Blaine released his hold on him slightly so he could look him properly in the eye.

"Feel better?", he murmured, brushing a strayed lock of hair out of Kurt's forehead.

Kurt winced a little. His hair had always been his weakest point, after all.

"Do I look horrible?", he asked self-consciously, trying to flatten down his hair.

Blaine slowly shook his head. "No, not at all. You look great."

Kurt just managed a weak eyeroll. "You don't have to pity me. No one looks great after crying."

"You do."

Kurt searched his eyes for proof he was only saying it because it was what he was expected to say, but Blaine was looking at him with such sincerity, he couldn't help but believe him.

"Thank you."

It was barely even a whisper, but Blaine heard it. He looped his arm under Kurt's again, and then walked on as if nothing had happened.

A comfortable silence fell over them, and Kurt suddenly realized just how very tired he was. He let his head drop against Blaine's shoulder as they walked on, and felt Blaine's arm tighten around him to steady him in case he would actually fall asleep.

The rest of the walk was spent in silence, with the occasional loose comment about something they passed, mostly to keep Kurt awake, and before they knew it, they had arrived outside of Kurt's house.


	4. Chapter 4

******Chapter 4**

They had barely set foot on the driveway when Carole burst out of the house, wasting no time in running up to them and engulfing Kurt in a tight hug that almost cracked his ribs. She was too anxious to notice the way the two boys had their arms around each other, which was probably a good thing because Kurt wasn't sure him being out with another gay boy would be appreciated too much.

"Oh, honey, I'm so glad you're okay", she said and ran her hand maniacally over his hair. "We were so worried."

It was another two minutes before she released him and caught sight of Blaine.

Her motherly instincts were obviously on the loose, and she teared up again and wrapped her arms around him too. "Thank you so much."

When she let him go, he looked a little flushed, but pleased nonetheless.

"I'm fine, Carole", Kurt said, and was glad to hear that his voice sounded steady and calm.

"Who knows what could have happened if you hadn't found him", she said to Blaine, ignoring Kurt's comment; on purpose or not, Kurt didn't know.

"Oh, it was nothing", Blaine said and shot Kurt a smile.

"It certainly was something!", she exclaimed. "He could have got kidnapped or murdered or who _knows_-_"_

Kurt's cheeks reddened and he refused to meet her eye. If she only knew.

Burt came scrambling out to them a second later, bathrobe flashing around his ankles. "Kurt!"

Kurt turned around just in time to find himself once again forced into a too tight hug, but he couldn't bring himself to ask him to loosen his hold. It wasn't too often he and his dad had these intense moments, and he was completely swept off his feet at the force of it. He was tearing up again, because they really _did_ care.

Once Burt let go of his son, he muttered, "We were really worried, kiddo."

From the outside it might seem awkward and a little detached, almost, but Kurt saw through that. His dad had never been a man of words, and he wasn't too good at expressing his feelings through actions either, but in moments like these – the serious ones – Burt always knew just what was enough to comfort his son.

On the funeral of Kurt's mother and Burt's beloved wife, when things had been as painful and difficult as they could possibly be, the two of them had been so very lost. And Burt had simply taken his son's hand, squeezing it tightly, and in that small action was everything the little boy needed; it was a silent "I will always be here", reassuring him through all the sleepless nights in the wake of his mom's passing.

When Kurt came out as gay to him, Burt just hugged him tightly and told him he would always love him, no matter what, and that he was glad he had opened up about it. Then he had gone upstairs, leaving Kurt to process the whole thing, and then he called him upstairs for a late night snack in front of the TV.

And now, even though Burt didn't understand the magnitude of what might have happened a few hours ago had his son not run into this curly-haired boy, he still recognized the moment to be very serious, and in his own way, he managed to comfort his son with a simple gesture and a few well chosen words.

Kurt managed a small smile. "I'm fine, dad."

"Yeah, well, that's good", Burt grunted, pleased to see Kurt had recognized his deeper meaning, and then turned to shake Blaine's hand. "Thanks for helping him home, kid."

Blaine smiled and Kurt thought he saw a blush under the slight tint of red already on his cheeks from the cold. "It was nothing, really."

"Don't be silly", Carole said fondly.

Blaine blushed some more, and Kurt found himself biting back a giggle.

"Well, we should get you inside, honey", Carole told Kurt and put her arm around his shoulder. "You must be freezing."

Kurt glanced over at Blaine, who stuffed his hands into his pant pockets, looking very small all of a sudden. "Can I just say goodbye to Blaine first?"

"Of course! How are you getting home, sweetie? Do you live around here?", Carole asked Blaine, who shook his head.

"No, not really. I'll get a cab or something, it's fine."

"Not an option, kid", Burt interrupted. "You brought my son home safely, the least I can do is give you a ride home."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to trouble you-", Blaine said hesitantly.

"No trouble at all", Carole assured him, beaming at her husband. She squeezed Kurt's shoulder, and said, "Should we go inside?"

Kurt's heart might as well have been ripped out of his chest as he caught Blaine's eye. All he wanted was to have one more minute alone with him, to maybe hold him and breathe in his scent one more time before parting. But how could he possibly do that with Carole and Burt right next to him?

"If it's not too much trouble, sir", Blaine said to Burt, ever so politely, "could I get a glass of water before we go?"

"Of course", Carole said immediately.

Kurt, catching on, said, "I'll show you to the kitchen."

A wide grin appeared on Blaine's face for a fraction of a second before vanishing, as to not seem too eager in front of Carole and Burt.

"I'll go check if Finn is still breathing", Carole smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek. "Burt, honey, why don't you wait for – Blaine, was it? – in the car."

Burt seemed a little put off, but seemed reluctant to protest, so he trudged over to the car and seated himself behind the wheel.

Carole walked ahead of them to the house, and Kurt automatically reached for Blaine's hand once they were out of eyesight from Burt.

It was weird, he thought, how natural that movement was already. What's weirder was that Blaine didn't pull away; he actually welcomed it by entwining their fingers.

When they came into the hall, Carole immediately turned into living room to check on Finn, who of course still sat plastered to his video game.

Kurt tugged Blaine into the kitchen, and easily popped open a cabinet with one hand and took down a glass. He let go of Blaine's hand and went over to the sink and filled the glass with water from the tap.

"Here you go", he said and handed Blaine the water.

Blaine took it, but he had a funny smile on his face as he took a sip. In a mock conspiring voice, he whispered, "You know, I actually just asked for water so I could talk to you in private. It is kind of a well-known conversation disguise of sorts, maybe you have heard of it?"

Kurt smacked his arm, but smiled nonetheless. "I _do _know, I just figured it was the polite thing to do to offer some water anyway."

"Did you now?", Blaine replied, smiling somewhat smugly. He then looked out the window, Burt's car firmly in view, and heaved a sigh. "I should go, or your dad might kick me off in a ditch somewhere."

Kurt nodded, and really tried not to look too sad.

Blaine took a few steps to the left and pulled Kurt with him, so they were well out of sight from the window. He wrapped his arms loosely around Kurt's neck, his cold palms slipping against Kurt's skin and making him shiver in a delightful way.

"I don't know about you", he said, his eyes raking over Kurt's face, "but this was one of the best nights of my life. At least the latter part."

Kurt couldn't help but smile at the irony of it all. Up until he met Blaine, he had been ready to take his life, and now-

Well, now he was standing in his kitchen with the most gorgeous boy he had ever seen, staring into his eyes and feeling his strong hands pull him closer once he realized Kurt wasn't going anywhere, and Kurt couldn't argue that it was probably the best night of his life, too.

"Yeah", he breathed softly. "It was pretty great."

Blaine smiled, and his hands slowly stroked down Kurt's arms, feeling the outline of his arms through the coat, until they reached his hips. He expertly slid his hands around to meet behind Kurt's back, resulting in them being so, _so_ close, their chests touching through their many layers.

Their eyes remained locked together, and then Kurt saw the other boy's eyes dart downwards, licking his lips while doing so.

It should have been an obvious clue, Kurt would think later on. That, and the fact that they had been flirting all night and were now standing in his poorly lit kitchen all wrapped up in each other's arms. But despite all the indicators, Kurt was still as innocent as they came and lacked experience, and it came as a shock when his mind registered Blaine leaning in, though there wasn't much room to lean in on, either.

Before he could process the idea of actually kissing someone for the first time, Blaine's firm, warm lips were pressed against his, in the softest way imaginable. It was very tender and Blaine made sure to leave room for Kurt to pull away if he would want to.

That, though, was the very last thought on Kurt's mind. Not that he was really capable of forming thoughts with Blaine pressed against him, especially when he accidentally parted his lips and was rewarded with Blaine's tongue slipping in between them. He was embarrassed to hear himself moan, but the thought didn't last long because _holy shit could Blaine work his tongue right_.

The kiss was sweet, and wet, and intense, and it was everything Kurt had ever wanted from his first kiss. Their mouths were sliding together in perfect sync, and Kurt's hands fit so perfectly around Blaine's neck, his fingers absently playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. They were like two missing puzzle pieces finally finding each other.

Much too soon, in Kurt's opinion, they had to pull away for lack of oxygen. They were both breathlessly staring at each other, their lips pink and swollen. The two of them were stuck in this invisible bubble of sorts, in which only they existed, and the air between them was charged with electricity and tension, and Kurt felt like the second he blinked, their moment would be over and gone forever, and he just wanted to live this second for the rest of his life.

"Not to make things awkward or anything", Blaine said after several silent, intense seconds with the air between them practically buzzing, "but I just thought I'd mention that I don't do this with every cute guy I meet."

Kurt laughed, perhaps a little too much since it wasn't even that funny, and had to bury his face in Blaine's shoulder to stop from shaking. The nerves of it all were really getting to him, and he might be slightly hysteric at this point.

Blaine's hand snaked up from where it was positioned on Kurt's lower back, and used the tips of his fingers to draw slow patterns along his spine.

The soft movement was soothing, and soon Kurt regained himself and straighened up. He had a stupid smile on his face, the one he had seen on his friends' faces every time they were with their loved ones. He had always hated that smile, the I'm-so-in-love-I-don't-even-care-how-stupid-I-look-smile, and now he found himself wearing it.

To his relief, when his eyes lifted to look at Blaine, he was met with that same smile; soft, loving, adoring. Stupidly, happily in love. Or maybe love was a too strong a word to use this early on. Kurt wasn't sure.

To stop himself from thinking about it too closely, he captured Blaine's lips again, claiming him for his own and not even believing how forward he was being. It wasn't like him, but then again, it wasn't like him kissing boys in the early hours of the morning, either. Or kissing boys at all for that matter.

Blaine laughed against his lips, and Kurt felt himself smile back. He then had to choke back a hysterical giggle, but unfortunately Blaine noticed it.

"What are you giggling about, mister?", Blaine asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kurt ducked his head and allowed himself one crazy smile, hidden from Blaine's view. He then straightened up again and, giggling slightly, admitted, "I just- you taste so_ good_."

Blaine rolled his eyes, and in a moment of spontaneity, he leaned forward and licked a line of saliva along Kurt's bottom lip. "You taste good, too."

Kurt couldn't help the giggle this time, and Blaine soon joined in with him. Blaine giggling might be the most adorable thing he had ever witnessed.

"God, this is so unlike me", Blaine laughed, when they parted from another kiss, their foreheads joined together. He wiggled his eyebrows as he continued, "I never kiss on the first date."

"Up until tonight", Kurt admitted with a shy smile, "I had never been kissed."

"Really?", Blaine asked, pulling away with a surprised look. "But you're so _good_ at it."

Kurt just blushed, and pulled him closer again to hide from his gaze. He let his head drop against Blaine's shoulder.

"Well, if we're being honest", Blaine mumbled in his ear, "you were my first kiss, too."

"No", Kurt gasped, disbelieving. This time he was the one to pull away to look more closely at the boy in front of him. "But- oh my god. Are you sure? No one should be that talented without practice."

Blaine grinned widely. "Well, I guess it's impossible for two stunning boys like us not to be amazing kissers."

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. "If you say so."

At that moment, Burt actually honked the car horn outside, making both boys jump.

"Oh god", Blaine groaned, and reluctantly disentangled himself from Kurt. "How am I supposed to sit in the same car as your dad and know I molested his son?"

"I think the word you're looking for is kissed, actually. Perhaps you didn't notice, but I was very okay with all that happened", Kurt said, raising an eyebrow.

Blaine smiled. "I was kidding. But it _is _going to be awkward."

"He is a dangerous man", Kurt nodded seriously.

Blaine almost paled a little before he realized Kurt was smiling.

Gosh, he hadn't smiled this much in months. But, he figured, getting your first kiss must be one of those things that erases all other problems. Especially if said kiss was with someone as amazing as Blaine Anderson.

"Okay, you should go", Kurt said, although he did so very reluctantly.

"Yeah", Blaine agreed, his shoulders slouching a little. He hesitated for a second before saying, "I hope I'm not being too forward, but maybe I could see you tomorrow for coffee or-"

"Coffee at 3pm", Kurt said firmly, before smiling softly. "Same place as tonight."

"Great!", Blaine grinned, and pulled Kurt into a tight hug.

Then they both reluctantly moved to the hall, and Kurt pressed a quick kiss to Blaine's lips right before he stepped out the front door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then", Blaine said, that stupid smile on his face.

"Yes you will", Kurt replied, copying his smile.

He was so very smitten with this boy, it was ridiculous.

They stalled the moment as much as humanly possible, with longing looks and smiles and eyes accidentally slipping down to gaze at the other's oh-so-kissable lips, but eventually Blaine had to go, and Kurt stood in the door watching him disappear into his dad's car and then get carried away along with it.

When he finally closed the door behind him, he fully realized how very tired he was. And, really, nothing less was to be expected.

He had had a, to say the least, eventful night.

He had almost committed suicide. He had met a beautiful boy with curly hair and eyes as bright as the sun, who had saved him in every aspect of the word. He had with most probability fallen for said boy and he was pretty sure he shouldn't be so quick to use the word "love", but whatever he was feeling for Blaine, it was goddamn strong and forceful enough to make his heart race and swell to ten times it's size, his palms sweat and his mind spin with just how much he was feeling. He wasn't used to it, not at all, and he wasn't sure he would ever be.

And, oh right, he had been kissed for the first time ever. By that same boy who made his heart leap out of his chest.

Sighing to himself, he turned around to head up to his room, only to find himself face to face with Carole.

She had a knowing smile on her face, and he felt his heart thud a little harder.

"Honey", she said, smile never leaving her face. "Am I entirely wrong if I say that boy was not just a friend, but a special someone?"

Kurt's mouth opened and closed and, at a loss for what to say, he just bowed his head in shame. "I'm sorry, I-"

But she just stepped forwards and hugged him tightly, squishing his face into her chest.

When she released him, her eyes were glassy, and she said, "I'm so happy for you, honey. You've seemed so sad recently, and it hurts me because I didn't know how to make you happier. And I have honestly never seen you happier than when you were looking at him, so I support it 100%."

He wasn't sure if he was most shocked over her non-existent parental moral lecture or the fact that she had noticed his unhappiness and actually cared.

"I-" He hugged her back, at a loss of words, and allowed himself to close his eyes for a second before pulling back and smiling at her. "Thank you, Carole. It means a lot."

"You have to have him over another time, for dinner perhaps, so we can get to know each other properly", she said, beaming. And then, her eyes glittering with a knowing smile, she added, "But if I were you, I would keep the kissing in the kitchen to a minimum when your dad is home."

Kurt flushed with pink and for a moment he just wanted to sink through the face of the earth. "Oh god, you saw that? I-"

"Honey, it's fine", she assured him kindly, "but you know he can get overprotective, so unless you want a chained lock on your door, I'd suggest you two keep your hands to yourself around here."

He felt deeply embarrassed, yet he couldn't stop smiling at the fact that he actually had someone – not only _someone_, but _Blaine_ – to be morally lectured about.

He was thrilled he even had someone he couldn't make out with in front of his dad. It was new and exciting and Blaine's lips alone were worth living for.

"Now go to bed", she said, kissing his cheek. "You look exhausted."

He obliged and, practically skipping, he went to quickly brush his teeth and then fell right onto his bed and curled up under the covers. When peeling off his clothes and redressing in his pyjamas, he realized he hadn't returned Blaine's jacket to him. Luckily they were meeting tomorrow again, so he could just return it then, no harm done.

He picked up his phone, contemplating whether or not to text Blaine goodnight. He decided it was too soon and that he would seem desperate, yet he still had the adress book open on the contact labelled "Blaine" for another few minutes. Just when he was about to throw the phone on the floor and flip over to go to sleep, his phone made a beeping sound and he opened the new text on reflex.

**From: Blaine****  
**Hi Kurt! Just wanted to say goodnight, and that I got home alright. If you wondered. Which you probably didn't. Wow I'm awkward.

Kurt wasn't capable of answering for another five minutes, because he was busy burying his face in his pillow, smiling much too widely while kicking his feet under the covers. Then his phone suddenly went off with a _beep_ again, and he opened another text.

**From: Blaine****  
**I must seem like the most desperate guy on earth, don't I? Texting you even though I saw you like thirty minutes ago. Pathetic

And then, after 20 seconds; _beep._

**From: Blaine****  
**Oh god, I'm not usually like this. I think I'm still lightheaded from that amazing kiss, so technically it's your fault. Or something. I'm sorry, I'm annoying. Just wanted to say goodnight.

_Beep._

**From: Blaine**  
So. Yeah. Goodnight, Kurt!

Kurt spent another ten minutes flailing and smiling into his pillow, his feet living their own little life and having a whole kick show, his mind unaware of controlling them. When his fingers were finally not shaking, he sent a reply.

**From: Kurt****  
**Did I ever tell you that you are a total dork? Because you are. And by the way, I just spent the last ten minutes smiling into my pillow like a maniac, so I think I take the prize for most pathetic.

And then, feeling brave, he sent another one. He wasn't sure where the sudden rush of courage came, or why he was being so brutally honest. Blaine just brought it out of him, he supposed.

**From: Kurt****  
**And I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I miss you already. And I'm really glad you texted me, because I wasn't brave enough. Goodnight, Blaine. xxx

_Beep._

**From: Blaine**  
Thanks, now I don't feel quite as bad about running around my house gasping "I kissed Kurt!" for the past twenty minutes. I miss you too. See you tomorrow. xxxxxx

The excessive amounts of x's, the unashamed exposure of both their embarrassing post-kiss reactions and the fact that Blaine said he missed him too was enough to speed up Kurt's heartbeat again, and for the first time in who knows how long, he actually felt happy. Like, _really _happy; the climb-a-mountain-and-shout-Blaine's-name-at-the-top-of-his-lungs-kind of happy.

And, another first of several months, he fell asleep almost immediately, and wasn't awoken by any nightmares all night. He fell asleep with his phone clutched tightly to his chest, his conversation with Blaine open on the screen, and his lips unconsciously turned upwards in a soft, happy smile.

* * *

**A/N: WOW okay. Fluff fluff fluff! Sorry I'm not sorry. :D ****:D**

**Also, I want to dedicate this chapter to glitterklaine (both here on and on tumblr);**

**I hope you like this even though I failed quite miserably at writing it angsty, which I know you love, but- well, I tried. *insert you tried-star here*. Or maybe an I DON'T THINK YOU TRIED AT ALL-star. Idk.  
**

**Anyway; ****I know you're sad about school and all that, but we'll see each other all the time anyway, I promise! We are like Klaine ****–** **we are endgame! Our friendship is my friendship OTP. (I know I'm being weird, just roll with it okay). And I promise, things will work out, so don't give up hope ever.**

**I figured maybe some Klaine kissing would make you feel better (because it always does). And one glorious day I'll learn how to write smut and I will write some Klaine smut for you honey. Until then: *~* butts *~*.**

**Anyways, this is getting weird, so just**–** thank you for the tumblr post you made for me and for always being there for me when I'm sad and weird and for always understanding all my fandom related feels. You are my favorite unicorn! I love you xxxx**


	5. Epilogue

***~* Epilogue *~*  
**

Five years had passed since that night on the bridge. Blaine had taken him out for coffee the day after, firmly insisting on paying for them both as he had technically been the one asking Kurt out, and they had been dating ever since. For better and for worse.

Two years ago they had been going through a particularly rough patch, during which Blaine almost slept with another guy. He and Kurt had been fighting all night, and Blaine had tried to storm out when Kurt had screamed at him that if he left the apartment, they would be over forever. Blaine had left nonetheless, and Kurt had fallen to the floor in a sobbing wreck. Blaine had gone out to the closest bar and gotten so drunk he couldn't see straight, and then this guy had approached him and asked if he wanted to come back to his apartment. Blaine had drunkenly agreed, thinking if he and Kurt were over anyway, he might as well start getting over him right away.

But as soon as the guy put his hand on Blaine's hip and pressed their lips together, Blaine had pushed him away. Having someone other than Kurt kissing him made him want to throw up, which is just what he did – all over the poor guy's shoes.

That was the end of his only almost-hook up, and he had passed out in a bathroom stall at that very bar. The bartender had searched his phone and found Kurt's number under the label "baby" - Blaine had a habit of changing Kurt's name into various pet names in his phone. Baby was one of the more sane ones. A small selection from his huge nickname archive were "snookums", "angel muffin" and "my super cutie". Kurt had a hard time going about his every day life knowing that every time Blaine picked up his phone to call or text him, he would open the contact labelled something completely and utterly ridiculous. Most recently he had been named "snuggles", but Kurt had pleaded for him to _at least_ change it into "baby". Baby he could work with.

And it was lucky, he thought, because he wasn't sure the bartender had dared called the number labelled "snuggles".

And no matter how upset Kurt was with him at the time, and how much he would have liked to just leave Blaine in that stall to deal with the consequences of his actions, he still picked him up and took him home safely to their apartment and tucked him into bed. Blaine sobered up enough to try and apologize, drunkenly slurred words spilling out of his mouth in sync with the tears running down his cheeks, and his eyes were shining so brightly and sincerely Kurt couldn't help but accept his apology. That was the worst hit their relationship had endured so far, and it took a while for Kurt to get over the fact that Blaine had kissed another guy, but in the end, they just came out stronger at the other side.

And now another few years had gone by, with a lot of ups and downs, and they were still together.

For now, at least.

They had had another fight, on this very night, and this had been a big one. It was stupid, Kurt knew that, but he hadn't been able to control himself. He had actually stormed out of the house, not much unlike how Blaine had left him that night he almost slept with another guy. Blaine had told him to stay, begged even, but Kurt hadn't listened. He just left.

He knew Blaine was probably scared and confused right now, and it hurt to think about it, but he couldn't go back. He needed some time alone.

Blaine was just so damn _ignorant_ sometimes, and he completely ignored everything Kurt was saying because he had this fantasy of how things were supposed to be and if they weren't actually like that, well, he would just pretend they were.

Kurt was a realist, and Blaine was a dreamer. Sometimes he didn't understand why they had fallen in love in the first place. They were just so different in so many aspects.

Kurt liked to plan things, and Blaine did things on impulse. Kurt wanted to keep their apartment as clean as possibly, and Blaine had the in-grown habit of leaving dirty dishes and piles of clothes all over the place without even realizing it. It was the small things that sent Kurt over the edge, and it wasn't uncommon for them to storm out on each other.

But they always went looking for each other. They always found their way back.

This time, however, Kurt wasn't so sure they would.

They were living in New York since a few years back, but because of recent events, they were back in Lima for a few weeks. They were staying at the Hummel-Hudsons, of course, and they had all been witnesses to their fight earlier. Carole had tried to calm him, but Kurt wouldn't hear it. He ran instead.

It was what he did, after all. It was in his blood to run and flee from the tougher situations. And Blaine was like that, too. So whenever one of them fled, the other always came looking for them.

But this time, Blaine wasn't going to come. Kurt could feel it, in the way his skin was itching uncomfortably, his heart beating irrationally fast and his heartbeat throbbing in his ears.

Being back in Ohio again, he had gone straight to the place where it had all began; the bridge.

He roughly estimated the time to be around 11pm, and the moon was shining just as brightly tonight as it had been exactly five years ago.

Yes, that may have been why he had been so terribly upset when Blaine had dropped that stupid suggestion of his on him an hour ago.

Tonight was the five year anniversary for the night he almost ended his life, and simultaneously the five year anniversary for his and Blaine's first kiss. He wanted to mourn it in peace, but Blaine had instead chosen this of all days to bring up one of the stupidest ideas his pretty head had ever come up with.

Kurt, being overly sensitive, had exploded. He had been on edge all day, even through the nice little dinner Carole cooked for them to celebrate upcoming events, and Blaine's idiotic suggestion had finally made him snap.

It had been over the late-night snack consisting of cheesecake that Kurt had made earlier in the evening. Blaine had suggested his furiously dumb idea so casually, like it was not a big deal. He had been cutting into his cheesecake and not even looked Kurt in the eye as he said it.

Kurt's hand had frozen on its way to his mouth. His fork had dropped down onto the platter with a loud _clink_, splattering cheesecake and raspberries over the tablecloth, and the entire family had jumped in their seats. He had yelled and been awfully loud and obnoxious. He had said some hurtful things, especially to Blaine, and Carole had pleaded for him to calm down and insisted that he didn't mean what he was saying.

None of them knew why he was so upset. All they knew was that five years ago, he had met Blaine.

They didn't know that this night was the embodiment of all the pain and fear and hurt he had felt growing up. This very night, all those years back, had been supposed to be his last one on earth, and then Blaine had showed up and changed all that.

It was emotional, even after five years, and he was bound to have a small break down.

It terrified him to think about how he almost died that night, and tonight that terror was stronger than everything else. It was eating him alive, clawing at his insidesi9o and burning holes in his skin.

He didn't want to sit through a, although very nice, dinner with his family, making small talk and pretending to be happy when really, he was dying inside. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball, cry and revel in the painful memories.

It was stupid, he supposed. He was happy now. He had Blaine and they had their whole future ahead of them.

He could actually say it without lying now – he was _happy._

But tonight just brought back all those things he had felt when he had been standing on the edge of that bridge, and it felt like he had been transported right back into that time of his life. Those old feelings hit him like a brick, new and raw and fresh, and it was as if the happiness Blaine had brought into his life had never existed.

Maybe it was stupid to dwell on it, and not just let it all go, but maybe it was also exactly what he needed. Maybe it was healthy to have this one night every year where he could cry freely, and let the same fear and pain that had tortured him five years ago rage through him once again, only to let it go once the morning came.

He felt horrible for lashing out at Blaine, though. He was the one who had saved his life, and he was the very last person he should scream at without reason.

Had it been any other day Kurt would have calmly explained to his silly boyfriend that he was being unrealistic and once again stuck in that rainbow-colored happy world of his. It was a nice place to be, yes, but eventually he had to get back to reality, and Blaine wasn't very keen on doing that.

Because it wasn't Blaine's fault that Kurt got so upset, not at all. He was upset either way, and Blaine just accidentally triggered that unhappiness to explode. It was not his fault, and Kurt hated himself for blaming this on him.

But no matter how upset they were with each other, they always came looking for each other.

Only now he had been out for an hour, and Blaine still hadn't found him. And Kurt knew that he wasn't trying to find him, either.

It was stupid of him to assume that Blaine would come looking for him every time he ran away.

He told himself that he wanted Blaine to stay away tonight, but he knew in his heart that the last thing he wanted was to deal with this pain alone. He wanted Blaine's shoulder to cry on, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Blaine what had almost happened that night they met, and if he couldn't do that, then he couldn't be with Blaine right now.

His heart was aching even more when he realized that Blaine really wasn't coming for him. He truly was alone.

Blaine was giving Kurt his space, the space he had claimed to need during his outburst earlier.

It was the last thing he needed right now.

The whole world was quiet and dim, and the only thing to be heard was his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

He was standing with his elbows supported on the rail of his bridge, gazing out over the river and the moonlight reflected in the water. It was a beautiful, starless night with nothing but the moon lighting up the pitch-black night sky.

It was somewhat calming, being back here again. He hadn't been for a long time, since he for obvious reasons avoided thinking about the last time he had been here. But tonight he needed to be here.

He didn't feel like jumping, of course not. He was happy now – perhaps not right in this moment, but over all. He didn't want to die anymore.

He had his earphones in, and they were effectively blocking out all the sounds in the world except for Patrick Wolf's voice, singing about flowers in the river and _you'll be missed_.

Just as the song got to the line that hurt the most – _so life has blessed you with a gift, boy, that you have gone and thrown away, and with it your whole future and left behind your family _– there was a sudden itch on the back of his neck that made him tune out the song instead.

He snatched the earphones out of his ears, and as he had expected–

"Hi. Sorry if I'm bothering you–"

The voice came from behind Kurt's back, but he didn't need to turn around to know exactly who he was. The words rang through the air just as beautifully as it had five years ago.

He didn't turn around, determined not to show himself weak.

Seeing Kurt wasn't going to answer, Blaine stepped forward and leaned against the rail next to him, his back pressed uncomfortably into the cold steel. He studied Kurt's features for a few moments, all the way from his puffy red eyes, the tear-streaks down his cheeks, his teeth digging into the soft flesh of his bottom lip and the way his adam's apple bobbed slightly when he swallowed.

"Kurt", he mumbled. "I'm sorry. I should have known it wasn't an option–"

"It's not that", Kurt mumbled, still not looking at him but rather down at the water flowing beneath them. "It's just– tonight. It's been five years."

Blaine reached out to grab his hand. "I know. I know."

Kurt finally turned to look at him, and his eyes were swimming with tears. His throat was choked up, and he drew a shaky breath. On the exhale, he said, "I just really hate this day."

Blaine knew he wasn't talking about their part of the night, but rather the part before, so he wasn't offended in the least. "I know, baby."

Kurt nodded slowly. Then he laughed joylessly. "I must seem crazy to you. You must have no idea what I'm talking about."

Blaine shifted a little next to him, and Kurt glanced over at him to see a cloud of smoke drift up into the air as he breathed out into the cold winter air.

"I do know, Kurt", Blaine said after a while, shuffling a little closer to him to try and keep them warm. Blaine had been in such a rush to go after Kurt, he had only grabbed the thing closest to him on his way out, which unfortunately was Carole's old spring coat. It fit somewhat nicely but did nothing against the cold, and now he found himself fighting against his rattling teeth. "I– I know what you were doing out here that night."

"You do?", Kurt asked, biting his lip uncertainly. Blaine could see the fear in his eyes, and having known his boyfriend for five years, he knew all the thoughts running through his mind. He was afraid that Blaine would leave him now that his biggest secret was to be officially revealed. To prove him wrong, Blaine moved closer instead.

Kurt eyed him carefully. "What exactly do you know?"

Blaine reached up to tuck a strand of hair away from Kurt's forehead. "That you were here to jump."

Kurt's body jerked away from the touch, but Blaine held him in place with a hand on his hip.

He wasn't going to let him run away again. Not tonight.

"It's okay", he said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. We're okay."

Kurt stood as far away as he possibly could with Blaine still holding onto him, his eyes guarded and calculating against Blaine's soft ones.

They stood like that for a while, the tension between them almost electric. Blaine's gaze was leveled and calm, whilst Kurt felt panic creeping up along his spine.

Blaine knew. He _knew_. All he wanted to do was run, but he couldn't.

He finally admitted defeat, and slouched his shoulders with a sigh. "How long have you known?"

"Ever since I saw you about to climb onto the rail", Blaine whispered, eyes flickering between Kurt and the rail behind him. His voice was pained, and Kurt hated seeing him in pain. He reached out to brush their lips together in an affectionate peck.

"I'm sorry", Kurt whispered. "For everything. For tonight and all those horrible things I said, and for scaring you that night–"

Blaine just shook his head, smiling sadly. "Don't apologize. It's in the past. Sometimes I just– what if I hadn't been there? What if you had actually–"

He couldn't even say it out loud. The thought was too horrible for him to process it. His voice cracked and he pressed his lips together to keep from crying.

Kurt nodded, shifting his feet a little on the iced-over ground. He was suddenly very interested in a rock lying at his feet, careful not to look up at Blaine's worried face. It would kill him to see the pain lingering in those hazel orbs. "I know. That's why I hate this night. I hate that _that_ is ruining the memory of our first meeting and our first kiss."

Blaine cocked his head to the side, trying to encourage Kurt to raise his chin and look at him. "Is that why you ran away now? Because it hurts too much?"

Kurt nodded slowly. "Yes." He shot Blaine a pointed look, falling back to the go-to protection that was his sarcasm, and added, "But also because you have the planning skill and foresight of a naive five-year-old."

Blaine smiled softly. "I know. That's why I have you though. You keep me on the ground."

Kurt sighed, and leaned into Blaine's touch. He wasn't mad at him, not really, and he was sick of pretending to be. He just wanted to be held through this horrible night, and why push Blaine away if he wanted to comfort him?

Blaine read him so well, and he saw the little signs of Kurt's surrender. He quickly opened up his arms so Kurt could wrap his arms around him and rest his head against Blaine's shoulder.

"I really shouldn't have suggested that, though", Blaine said after a while. "Especially not tonight."

Kurt sighed. "It was not your brightest moment, I'll be the first to admit that, but you shouldn't feel bad about it. It's not really why I'm upset."

Blaine smiled faintly against his hair. They stayed like that for a while, until Kurt realized something and gently pushed himself off Blaine so he could look him in the eye.

"You never told me what you were doing out so late that night", he said, arching an eyebrow. "And don't tell me you just went for a walk. It was too far from your house."

Blaine's eyes suddenly lost their spark, and Kurt could feel him shaking, and he instantly knew it had nothing to do with the cold.

"Blaine?", he repeated softly, cupping his chin gently.

Blaine exhaled shakily, and looked down at his feet. "I, um– I'm not sure you would like to hear it."

"Honey, you're scaring me", Kurt said, stepping a little closer again, their noses almost brushing against each other.

"Well, um, to be honest–" Blaine glanced at him, and a sad smile grazed his lips. "I was there to jump, too."

The air was completely blown out of Kurt. He actually forgot how to breathe, and it wasn't until Blaine pressed his hand against Kurt's chest and whispered a firm mantra of "inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale" that he managed to draw in a long, shaky breath into his ragged throat.

"You– you–"

Kurt couldn't speak. He couldn't think, or breathe, or _exist_. Had Blaine lived by his side all these years feeling this terrified, knowing that the man he loved most of all had been so close to death? He felt like he couldn't take it for another second, and Blaine had put up with this horrible pain for _five years_.

"But you seemed so put together", Kurt finally blurted out after several minutes of strained silence.

Blaine actually _laughed_. "We've been together for five years, Kurt, are you telling me you haven't realized that one of my greatest strengths is putting on a brave face when things are at its worst? I was _dying_ inside, but then I saw you and, being there to jump myself, I saw the little signs. And I just couldn't let you go through with it, knowing I could have saved you, so I pretended to be this guy filled with sunshine and rainbows so that you would at least put it off for another day." He smiled faintly, and leaned in a little to nuzzle his nose against Kurt's. "Little did I know it was the love of my life I was saving."

Kurt didn't realize he was crying until he automatically reached up to brush away the tears from clouding his sight. Not only had Blaine saved him – they had saved each other.

He saw things so much clearer now. Small fractions of things Blaine had told him over the years finally fit into the puzzle that was Blaine Anderson.

He should have realized Blaine had been suicidal too. There had been signs, but he had failed to see them. He had been too busy with his own pain to see Blaine's.

He pulled Blaine in for a kiss searing with pain and utter, complete gratefulness.

"I love you so, so much", he whispered against his lips, unwilling to ever let him go again.

"I love you too", Blaine replied, peppering his mouth with small, featherlight kisses. "Let's go home, okay? We'll freeze to death out here." He slid his hand down to twine his fingers together with Kurt's.

He slowly rubbed his finger against a thin and simple, yet perfectly gorgeous, golden ring that he a few months ago had slid onto Kurt's finger. He hadn't taken it off ever since, and the identical ring grazing Blaine's finger had never left his skin either.

"We have a wedding to plan, after all", Blaine said, smiling over at his soon-to-be husband.

Kurt smiled too, and leaned in for another kiss. They were back in Ohio, but he couldn't bring himself to be afraid.

They were going to be okay, no matter what.

They were Kurt and Blaine.

Blaine and Kurt.

They always found their way back.

"We do", he said, laughing softly. "But so help me god, Blaine, if you try talking me into planning our wedding in two weeks again, I will leave you at the altar."

Blaine grinned widely. "I know. We'll reschedule to June, and then we'll have plenty of time to make it perfect."

"Of course it will be perfect", Kurt beamed. "I will be designing for us both, so it is impossible for it to be anything but impeccable."

"Would it make you run away with the best man if I wore a bowtie?", Blaine asked innocently.

"Considering my best man will be Finn, it would take a whole lot for me to elope anywhere with him", Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "But lucky for you, I think you are adorable in bowties, and I have already made you a very special bowtie to wear for the occasion."

Blaine threw his arms around his neck and almost made them fall over with the force of the embrace. "I love you _so _much."

Kurt laughed softly. Every trace of their so-called fight was blown away by the force of the happiness they both felt at their upcoming wedding.

Their valid, completely legal same-sex wedding in New York City.

What did it matter how badly things could have ended that night five years ago, when they hadn't?

They hadn't jumped. They hadn't ended up at the bottom of that river, bodies cold and lifeless.

They had found each other, in the complete darkness that had surrounded them at the time, and they had lit a fire of hope in the other's seemingly hopeless life.

In a few short months they would trade the title of boyfriends for husbands, and they would forevermore be known as Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson – or Anderson-Hummel. They hadn't quite decided on the formalities of it all yet. It didn't matter, either way.

They had each other, and they would never, ever be alone again.

* * *

_This is where I live now and I have overcome my demons_

_And I have grown out of that thinking_

_That would not let me live_

_Or give_

_And the poem reads_

_And I remember the day you told me_

_The sun_

_The sun_

_The sun_

_The sun is often out_

* * *

**A/N: I'm kind of upset about finishing this story because writing it has been so fun and emotional with all the fluff and angst(ish) and now it's all over. But Klaine is getting MARRIED so everything is okay.**

**This is the last chapter of this story, since it's the epilogue, so thank you to all of you who reviewed, favorited and followed this – you are so lovely and I appreciate all of you! xxxx**


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